An Honest Conversation

It seems there is no room for nuance in today's society. Everything is black and white. You're a Republican or a Democrat. You're pro-cop or you're fuck the police. You're #BlackLivesMatter or you're a racist. And since ISIS assholes terrorized the streets of Paris, killing over a hundred innocent people, you're either a heartless, cowardly Islamophobe who hates Syrian women and children or a bleeding-heart liberal who wants to blindly welcome Syrian refugees into our country because it feels like the right thing to do. What there is no room for in any of these discussions is critical thinking and an opinion that would call for a moment of pause. Social media quips, memes, and character limits make it easy to take sides and make snap judgements about people on issues that would formerly have been discussed in a civil manner over dinner and/or drinks or even a phone call. There is no room on Facebook, Twitter, reddit, or Instagram for the so-called "honest conversations" everyone seems to think we need to have about issues such as race, gender equality, or pick your controversial topic of the day. The real problem is that honest conversations require looking at facts and reality on reality's terms and not how something feels. 

This has come to a head this week with the "discussions" I've seen about the Syrian refugees and what America's role in helping them should be. Having lived over seas and being part of a military family, I am privileged to have a group of friends with a wide-ranging spectrum of political, religious, and cultural views. The ability to read the news in German as well as English gives me insight into what life is like in a country accepting not 10,000 refugees in a year but closer to 10,000 refugees a day. If there is going to be an honest conversation, it's important to look at the good and the bad of what's occurring in countries who have, in effect, had an ocean of people streaming across their borders with little to no discretion. It's not all bad, but it's not all good. Most people, in Germany at least, have tried to welcome Syrian refugees. News organizations post weekly video blogs with information on how things work there, basic language skills and phrases, and how to seek help. This article from n-tv.de (in German, sorry), gives a good cross-section of the concerns reactions of Germans and Syrians alike to the attacks in Paris. There are the expected "watch out!" and "don't trust them!" reactions. More than those, however, are concerns from refugees and other Muslims living in Germany that they will be lumped in with ISIS, that they are still not safe from the violence form which they were fleeing, and sentiment that the West is finally seeing what they have been living with for years. There is an outcry, similar to what I have seen on Facebook, wondering why there are French flags everywhere but none from Libya or Syria or Palestine standing as one with those nations. These are poignant and visceral reactions in the face of a terrible tragedy. It brings up some points that I fail to see mentioned when people are posting about what side they're on, but I think they need to be addressed.

The first and most striking to me was the sentiment from refugees that they are not safe in the country where they have sought refuge. Sovereign nations have the right and responsibility to protect their citizens, and that same responsibility extends to the people being accepted into said country for shelter. Allowing fully open borders with no safeguard undermines the security these women and children are seeking. I read a post from a Russian friend of mine about a friend of hers who came here as a refugee from The Soviet Union years ago. He wrote about a time his family spent in Italy before coming to the US being questioned and vetted to make sure they weren't part of the problem from which they were fleeing. Being discerning isn't being cowardly. No one disputes the unthinkable conditions under which these poor people are living and that they need help, but it serves no one to pretend that radical Islam or whatever we're calling it these days doesn't exist. The fact that refugees in Europe feel as though they are still at risk because of the Paris attacks highlights this. Of course it isn't fair to lump all refugees in with ISIS, but the fact remains that there is a percentage of people from that part of the world who are seeking to destroy the freedom and opportunity provided by Western nations. 

Having said that, it is also important to recognize that there is a huge cultural difference between Syria and whatever country will be accepting Syrian refugees. This poses potential difficulties for the refugees and their new home alike. The n-tv.de weekly videos "Marhaba"seek to give refugees insight into how German culture works. Getting them out of Syria is only the beginning. If these people are going to start a new life, they have to be able to start integrating into the culture of their new country. Topics such as religion, the role of women, sex and relationships, and typical food and drink may seem rudimentary, but the fact is that some central aspects of Syrian culture are not entirely compatible with Western society. Learning the culture and language of the country in which you live in essential to establishing a life and being successful in said country. Believe me, I could have existed in Germany without learning German, but I couldn't have made friends and had a real life without it. No one would ask refugees to give up all aspects of their culture, but it needs to be understood that helping refugees assimilate will make life easier for them as much as it will for the Germans (or Americans, in our case).  Those not from Saint Louis may not be aware of the large Bosnian population in that area (second only to Bosnia). In the 1990s, Saint Louis welcomed thousands of Bosnian refugees. It was an ideal location due to low housing costs and job availability. The Bosnian community there has thrived, and the number of Bosnians in the city was 70,000 as of 2013. Many are now moving out of the city into the suburbs after starting successful businesses there 20+ years ago. This would not have been possible without the availability of housing and jobs as well as this refugees learning English and assimilating to their new country and culture. Just getting people here with no plan for their well-being and future won't help anyone in the long run.

I've also seen this quote about 247 times in the past few days:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free..."

I've seen comparisons to Jews during WWII, Native Americans, everyone because we are all immigrants here. I've also seen comparisons of the ISIS jihad to the Christian crusades. These are all great for trying to prove a point, but can we stop pretending that one has anything to do with the other. Yes, Christians have done many terrible things in the name of religion, and our forefathers committed atrocities against the native populations of this continent. However, what is also important to recognize is that, for the most part, most religions and cultures have evolved over time, and those types of behaviors are no longer acceptable. Much of the middle east, even in progressive areas, is still abiding by rules and principles of hundreds if not thousands of years ago.  Apparently, students surveyed in 1938 were against helping European Jews. This seems insane now, especially since, to my knowledge, a small percentage of radical European Jews weren't in the habit of terrorizing innocent people in major cities and blowing themselves up on buses. The point here is that, as stated above, we can't pretend that ISIS doesn't exist and hasn't continually found new ways to wreak havoc on civilized societies. 

At the peak of this crisis month ago, I saw people questioning why countries like France and Germany weren't doing more, but I truly think they are doing the best they can in what is a seemingly impossible and unmanageable situation. My heart breaks when I see mothers having to put their babies to sleep under bridges and in alleys, but I can't help but think that maybe that bridge in Germany is safer than the house they fled in Syria. It is easy to sit at a computer and say "Bring all of these poor people here!" when they aren't at your doorstep or to say "The risk of even one attack is too much to allow any refugees in!" when you live a relatively safe and secure life with very little actual risk of death on a daily basis. Not all Syrian refugees are terrorists who hate freedom, and anyone who thinks so is not thinking rationally. Geography dictates that we won't have thousands of people walking across the border relatively unchecked, as they did in Europe, so one would think that offers us the ability to be a bit more discerning with who is entering the country. By the same token, not all people seeking refuge in this country are looking for the freedom and opportunity that this country has always provided, and some are probably seeking to destroy it. Anyone who ignores that possibility is also not looking at reality on reality's terms. If 1% of the world's Muslims are radicalized, that is about one million people. The attacks in Paris show that it only takes a handful to kill hundreds and affect the lives of millions. Having an honest conversation about the realities of this crisis and what helping these refugees will really entail is complex and may not always feel good, but I think it is necessary. Our state's and country's leaders do need to demonstrate that there is a plan for how to get these people here and out of harm's way safely and effectively for everyone involved. Wanting that doesn't make you a hateful fear monger. Wanting to help every man, woman, and child doesn't make you naive. All of these concerns make us human, and perhaps if we stopped trying to prove ourselves right, we might be able to see that and actually start making a difference. 

2013 Year in Review- Part 1

Some people write a Christmas letter to fill their families and loved-ones in on the goings-on of the year gone by. I will be writing a quasi-New Year's letter in blog-form to catch whoever is reading and myself up on nine months or so of uncompleted blog entries because, let's just be honest, I'd be writing about Christmas 2013 sometime after we PCS to wherever we end up next. I was relatively proud and satisfied that I actually got our Christmas cards out in time for people to get them before the end of the year, but thanks to a DPO error literally no one has received the cards we sent over a month ago, so clearly being proactive and on top of things doesn't pay off.

I may go back later and fill in details of some trips and events, but I don't want to get too ambitious. Having said that, here goes:

Holiday and New Year greetings from the Senkowski family,
I can't believe another year has come and gone so quickly! That's a lie. I actually can believe it because every year goes quickly. I also did a search out of curiosity, and there is a limitless list of blogs about how to write the best/most beautiful/most creative/heartfelt/pick-an-adjective Christmas letter. You probably already know that I didn't read any of those, and this will probably not be superlative in any way. Now that everyone's expectations have been appropriately adjusted, here we go!

March
We last left our weary travelers at the end of a ski trip to Garmisch and a few days in Munich near the beginning of February. After recharging for a few weeks, we were off to Goslar for one of Neil's swim meets. Goslar is a small old town in the middle of the Harz region of Germany. Its old town is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, but then so is most of Europe. The main attraction is the nearby Brocken which is the highest mountain in the Harz mountain range which at 1,141m is not that impressive. What is impressive is that the Brocken was made famous by Goethe in Faust and is most known for being a meeting point for the witches of the word every year on 30. April/1.May, depending on which witch you ask. It was a really cute old town with a lot of witch-related shops and goods. It had a great restaurant/brewery and, due to the haphazard old-cityesque streets, provided longer-than-anticipated morning runs.

Neil is down there...I swear.

Old church in Goslar.

Witch in Training...she takes her
apprenticeship very seriously.

Upon our return to Berlin, I decided that I should start riding a bike again, but as there was still a fair amount of snow on the ground that meant a lot of time on the trainer. This gave me time to catch up on the news whilst McDonald's taunted me about how far I would have to ride to get a Shamrock shake.

3451.99 miles, if you wondered.

A few weeks later a dream of mine came true, and Neil and Annika got dragged along for the ride. David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff made an appearance in Berlin in an attempt to save a portion of the East Side Gallery (the largest remaining portion of the Berlin Wall. I'm not one for dramatic use of rhetorical questions, but does it get more Berlin than David Hasselhoff singing "Looking for Freedom" from the back of a sawed-off U-Bahn car? I can assure you that it does not. It was amazing and the highlight of my March.

Why yes, that is a Knight Rider flag
being worn as a cape.

The Hoff in all his glory.

You may or may not be able to detect the gradient
of excitement from left to right in this picture.

Late-March snow...shocking.

Also it snowed on Easter which was a nice send-off to the month because we headed off to start our April...

April

...in Sofia, Bulgaria! This was on our final list of potential places we wanted to go for the Olmsted experience, so I was super-excited to have a chance to go visit the Andersons in Sofia. Also, Annika was fast-approaching her second birthday, and we wanted to get a few more free flights in under the wire. The combination of Berlin being way further north than you might think and Sofia being much further east and south than you might think made it a perfect place to not drive or train. It is also always nice to visit another Olmsted family and not just for the free lodging. The Andersons provide the added bonus of another toddler to distract Annika, so it's wins all around.

After traveling to Poland and the Czech Republic last year, I was already involved in a love affair with eastern Europe, and Sofia's 2400 year old history had been calling out to me. Our first day there, Megan took us to the Rila Monastery. Built in the 10h century, it is situated in the mountains and is simply beautiful. We made our way back to Sofia for Annika and Siena to have some reading/play time together.

Rila Monastery

One of many beautiful and detailed frescoes, of
which we were not allowed to take pictures. 

Annika & Siena reading/bonding over their similar hair.

The next day, we headed out for a free walking tour of Sofia. Many European cities offer such tours, and I highly recommend them especially with a toddler when spending money on anything can be as good as throwing it out a window should there be an unexpected need to depart early, not that we've ever had to do that anywhere. Fortunately, we were able to enjoy the whole thing including drinking from some natural spring fountains and seeing the changing of the guard at the Presidential Offices. That night, thanks to the Andersons scheduling a babysitter, we were able to enjoy a traditional Bulgarian dinner complete with music and dancing and wine. The evening and our time in Sofia in general was amazing, and we were off to Vienna the next day.

In Vienna, we stayed with one of Neil's classmates from DLI and his family. I had also been wanting to get to Vienna mainly because one of their most well-known traditions is a little thing called Kaffee und Kuchen which translates to coffee and cake, and you just can't go wrong with those two things. I did very little research on what else to do there, so we followed the advice of the Adams family and hit the high points: Schönbrunn Palace, Hotel Sacher (for the coffee and cake which totally delivered), and the Hofburg Palace where I saw a lot of plates and china sets that I would like to have.  Neil's former classmate Jon is a bit of a grill-master, so he prepared a pork shoulder in his Big Green Egg smoker which I now also totally want...you know, so we have food to serve on all of the china I plan to buy. It was delicious, and I took no pictures on account of the fact that I was too busy eating. I would like to get back to Vienna some day, perhaps with an older child or without a child so I can take in the grandeur a bit without the screeching/screaming in the background...the last few days of a trip are always tough. 

Something's coming on the carousel.

Annika, Ellie, and Carson patiently
awaiting cake.

Famous Sachertorte and apple strudel.

Hofburg Palace

Seriously, I need these, right? 

These look reasonable too.

More Vienna grandeur.

Pretties...probably affordable.

Schönbrunn. The whole city looks like this.

We made it back from Vienna just in time for me to run the Berlin Half Marathon. I've said it before, but I really need to do more half marathons. You feel like you accomplished something without wanting to kill yourself when you still have 8 miles to go. It was a chilly but clear day for another little tour through Berlin on foot, complete with the best cheerleader ever. Annika is becoming quite the distance running fan and routinely now cheers, "Go Mommy and Daddy!" whenever I force the rest of the family to watch races on tv. I'm quite proud, and feel most of my maternal work is done.

One of my favorite pictures of Annika yet. I know you
can't see her face, but still.

How can I not enjoy a run with that cheering for me?

A week later, I was gutted as I watched the events unfold at the Boston Marathon. I ran with a heavy heart that week but was uplifted when Annika and I attended a memorial race for the victims and the race itself in Tiergarten in the middle of the city. I have written before about the spirit of runners and the camaraderie between people who have nothing in common apart from their love of the sport, but to see the turnout of hundreds of people for a quickly and loosely-organized event was truly overwhelming. I have always worn my Boston Marathon gear with pride, and it holds even more meaning to me now.

Run for Boston

See the shorts and shadows caused by
the sun? Spring was upon us!

Neil was promoted to Major at the end of the month and took his oath via Skype with Jon in Vienna. We changed out of our sweatpants for the occasion and reveled in the wonder of technology and the continuation of a stellar Air Force career for Neil. I tell him often, but I will say again that I am so proud of his accomplishments as a military officer and a person. He makes the most of every opportunity he is given, and we will continue to embrace and make the most of every assignment he's given. Having said that as I write here on the first day of 2014, I am already dreading the end of our Olmsted experience in Berlin. We could never have imagined the blessing that this time has been and will continue to be for us.

Major Neil and oath-giver Jon.

That brought April to a close. The thaw was beginning, and we moved on to May...

May
...a month that found us mostly sticking around Berlin and (fortunately for me and anyone still reading) not doing much out of the ordinary. Neil and I tried to continue with/start our training for the Berlin 70.3 triathlon and did our best to keep Annika alive until her second birthday at the end of the month. Spoiler alert: we did it.

It wasn't all button down and routine though as I was fortunate enough to go on an Olmsted ladies' trip to the lovely island of Mallorca in Spain. It is sometimes referred to as the 17th German state because it is such a popular vacation destination for the Germans.  Thanks to the amazing planning of  Jen Hensarling (wide of Brian, OSC '11 in Brussels, Belgium), we were able to secure a villa in the somewhat secluded village of Puigpunyent. It was a perfect little town northwest of the main tourist city of Palma and a great jumping off point for excursions to other parts of the island and some relaxing pool time. Carrie Flammia (wife of Bobby, OSC '12 in Florence, Italy) wrote a wonderful and timely blog about the trip to which I will lazily direct you here. I will summarize by saying that a cooking lesson turned wine-drinking evening with our poor teacher/chef Pepe, a train ride to the town of Soller on the northwest of the island, and the first annual Palma Beer Festival on the inspiring grounds of the Palma Cathedral were just what the doctor ordered. Neil did his part to keep Annika in one piece while I was away, and he headed off on the Olmsted man trip to the Balkans a few days later.

Poor Pepe's face says it all.

Paella prepared by us/Pepe.

Train station in Soller.

Train ride to Soller. 

The inspiring grounds of the Cathedral.

Just a regular picture of our meal and us...

...taken by our helpful servers.

Neil's man trip was slightly more eventful due to an ambitious itinerary taking the menfolk on a road trip leaving from Sofia, Bulgaria and continuing through Kosovo, Albania, and Macedonia before returning to Sofia. Bobby Flammia wrote a wonderful and timely blog about it to which I will lazily direct you here.

While Neil was gone I did my job in keeping Annika alive, and as a reward/birthday present to me we went to see Beyonce in concert the day before Annika's birthday. Queen B delivered as expected, but truly extraordinary was the table of confiscated/checked bottles of perfume/cologne/hairspray as we exited. Who knew people brought so much product to a concert? Apparently I have not been doing it right all these years.

The table was 3x this long. For reals.

Having survived a fair amount of Sekt and dancing at the Beyonce show, we tried our hand at hosting a birthday party for Annika. Last year she ate a cupcake while sitting on the floor on a garbage bag, so it could really only get better. We had her friend Guzzi and his parents over along with some other German friends. We ate and drank and watched the all-German Champions League Finale, and a good time was had by all. 

Candle blow-out with an assist from a seasoned professional.

Annika & Guzzi...wie süß!

As the month drew to a close there was a rare and much-appreciated-by-me thunderstorm, and I survived another year on the planet. With a now 34 years of experience under my belt and feeling extra-prepared for the future, I plunged into June...

June

...where the month started out with a visit from the Adams' of Vienna and weather nice enough to chase bubbles on the terrace. 

Midway through the month we had our second visit from the Midwest Senkowski contingent consisting of Neil's parents and sister Linda. They arrived just in time to watch Annika while Neil and I tried our hand at the first annual Berlin 70.3. Much to our chagrin, the organizers had some trouble with securing appropriate permits for the course so after the swim in the Spree we spent significantly more time than either of us wanted to doing bike and run laps around the old Berlin Tempelhof Airport. An airport is a great place for a run/bike because there is nothing to block the wind or the sun. Neil swore never to do anything more than a sprint triathlon or a 10K ever again, and I enjoyed the fact that it was A.) flat, B.) not 98 degrees, and C.) I could stop after six hours instead of almost fourteen. Good times.

Finished!

The next day, we all tried our hand at the Deutsche Bahn for a trip to Warsaw. We thought Neil's family might enjoy an excursion back to the land of their roots. Warsaw was pretty sweet with a nice old town, great food, and perfect weather. The only slight drawback was our very authentic-for-a-former-Soviet-controlled-nation Airbnb apartment. We had slight fears about the safety of the electrical system and were always pleased to arrive at the end of elevator rides. I was comforted by the framed photo of JP2 in the lobby and the fact that there was an illustration of Saint Louis in the kitchen which we also happen to have hanging in our guest room...come visit and see!

JP2, my favorite Pope...
although Francis is at his heels

The 314 being repped in Warsaw. Holla!

Warsaw ghetto border.

Warsaw Uprising memorial.

Senkowski Midwest and Senkowski Berlin unite!

Beautiful evening with the national stadium
in the background.

One of many ice cream cones in Warsaw.

When we returned to Deutschland Annika resumed Kinderturnen (gymnastics), we all took a bike tour of Potsdam, and saw some more of Berlin...in case the old airfield wasn't what they all had in mind in terms of sightseeing.

Fun at Kinderturnen.

See? Fun! 

Sanssouci Palace in Potsdam.

Riding the S-Bahn with Ama and the bikes.

Brandenburger Tor.

The rest of June was relatively uneventful which was a good thing because we went about the business of making up for all of the traveling we didn't do last summer in July...

...which I'll begin in Part 2 and hopefully finish before we leave for Italy next week (on 12 January for anyone keeping track).