On Dogs and Babies

There has been a lot of chatter lately among my Twitter and Facebook friends, none of whom actually know each other, about kids and dogs and how they are nothing alike. A lot of the commenting is being done by people with kids and no pets or pets and no kids. Having had both for a little bit now, I feet the need to weigh in.

When I lived in Washington, I worked briefly with a guy, and during the time we worked together, he and his wife had their first baby. Over a period of 6 weeks or so, I heard a stream of complaining about how he never got to go to the gym and how the baby couldn't do anything and how he and his wife couldn't even go out to eat anymore. One day he asked me to take a look at his shoulder which was bothering him, and as I gave him the once over, he began to moan about how he hadn't gotten more than 6 hours of sleep in a row in weeks. (Sidebar: At the time, I was barely getting 6 hours of sleep with no baby, and I realize now that getting 6 consecutive hours of sleep with a 6-week-old is nothing to sneeze at.) Nevertheless, I let him finish his lamenting, and then I asked him, "Did you or your wife ever have a pet?" He gave me a funny look but no answer. So I said, "Seriously, a cat, a dog, anything?" He said, not surprisingly, that neither of them had. My response to him was, "Next time, before you have your first child, get a dog." He wasn't amused. While I could have been, perhaps, a bit more understanding to this co-worker's plight, I think my point is a valid one. I have to preface some of this argument by saying that there are exceptions to every rule, and some people are a little nutty when it comes to their dogs and/or children with regards to spending/clothes/travel/health care. This post does not apply to those outliers.

Shortly after moving to Washington, Neil decreed that I needed a cat to keep me company while he was on the road. I protested, but alas, we ended up getting a Uncle Leo. I saw it as a tiny bit of company but mainly as more work. I had to keep food and water bowls full and scoop a litter box. If I went out of town, I had to find someone else to do those things. It took a tiny little slice of my freedom pie away. Picture a pie, any flavor, with a lovely lattice crust, golden brown, fresh from the oven. It's almost too pretty to cut into...until you do, and then, you may as well keep right on eating.

Fully intact freedom pie.

About a year after we got the cat,we decided we were ready to get the pet we really wanted all along...a dog. The dog is a completely different animal. There is much more involved in terms of training, responsibility, grooming, exercise, and general upkeep. Stella was and still is a high-energy dog requiring and demanding a lot of attention. She took a much larger slice of our freedom pie away. When we got Stella, Neil was away a lot flying, so the brunt of the training, bathing, grooming, feeding, and socializing fell to me. If I wanted to go away for a weekend to a wedding or to run a race, I had to make sure I could get Stella a slot at the local kennel and make sure that I could get off work in time to drop her off and make sure that I got a flight back in time to pick her up during pick-up hours. Care-free travel was a thing of the past. It was around this time that a lot of my friends began having children. I initially thought to myself, "Man, the dog is work, but at least she isn't a baby." As time passed, I began to notice similarities between the issues facing my baby-having friends and me. Before anybody gets their panties in a bunch, I would like you to re-read that last sentence. It says similarities, not that it's the same thing. I never really mentioned this to any of my friends with children, but I just took little notes for future reference.

Stella as a puppy...a cute little piece of work (or pie).

Now we're going to get to the meat of this comparison. On May 25, 2011, Annika Grace Senkowski joined the world and in so doing, cleaned off what was left of the freedom pie. Don't get me wrong here. She is adorable and amazing and a gift from God, but she is no joke. Between her and the dog, our pie is nothing but some crumbs of crust left on the plate. I think it  was easier this way, though. Those people on The Biggest Loser don't gain 350 pounds over night. As much as that extra weight taxes their bodies, it's easier to get to 500 pounds over a period of years than it would be to just lump it all on at once. This was the point that was lost on my former coworker.

That pie was nice while it lasted.

This analysis is by no means going to be exhaustive or even extensive. I just want to let all of the dog-without-baby and baby-without-dog folks out there know that they have some common ground. I will start, however, with a few differences. Obviously, a baby has greater potential for intellectual gain than does a dog. You can't leave a baby at home while you go out to dinner. You can't bring a 100 pound dog with you on your lap in an airplane...the 4th of July scared of fireworks is another story.

Dog on lap and Baby on lap.

A baby is much more fragile and vulnerable in the early months and years than a dog. A dog will never be able to bathe itself. A dog will lay quietly at your feet while you study something...German perhaps. A baby will do no such thing (more on this in a later post). I could go on, but I think you all can appreciate the differences between a dog and a baby.

Now, for the fun part. There are a lot of things that are strikingly the same. Both Stella and Annika like to put everything in their mouths. If you don't want it in the mouth of your dog/baby, it had better not be within their reach. I give you exhibit 1A and 1B.

                                           1A                                                                                   1B

I would like to state, at this time, that no photos in this post or others have been staged to prove or disprove any point I may or may not be trying to make. Moving on, a recent development here at Senkowski Berlin is that Annika has begun to beg for food. Stella, like many dogs, has a way of sidling up next to a person and gently laying her chin on that person's lap as that person eats. Annika is slightly less subtle in her technique, and I want to reiterate, that we in no way trained her to do this.

She also scavenges for anything not out of her reach. Anyone with a dog knows food not higher than 4 feet off the ground is fair game.

In addition, both dogs and babies give really satisfying reactions when you enter a room after you've been gone for longer than 2.6 seconds. Dogs and some children, I've heard tell, are really nice to cuddle with. Annika hasn't been down to cuddle since she could voluntarily move her limbs, but Stella can cuddle like a champ.

So, to everyone out there who loves their dog like a child, keep it up. They're the best! Although we know she's doing well with the Chicago Senkowskis, we miss our Stella. If we had somehow managed to get her to Berlin without having to sell Annika on the black market to pay for it, she would have had a lot of nice dog friends. However, we would have no way to kennel her when we head to Poznan, Poland in a week for a Euro 2012 game! That's right folks...Italy-Ireland next Monday night! Look for us if you're watching the game. We'll be the ones with an overtired baby screaming louder than the drunken Irish fans. Then again, maybe we'll just leave her at the hotel with some treats and Micky Maus Wunderhaus on the iPad...oh wait...

German Television is Hilarious

Everyone has seen Sabado Gigante, right? Quality television programming transcends language. There is a German version of this called Fernsehgarten, an hours-long Sunday morning variety show. It’s no CBS Sunday Morning, but as far as entertainment goes, it’ll do.

In addition to this competitive game of suck-and-blow, there was a man who walked in a spinning wheel for 24 hours and a man trying to break a record for crushing the greatest number of unopened aluminum beer cans with his bare hands in 1 minute. It’s kind of awesome.

In addition to this, there are a number of American shows which have been translated into German.  Some of them are staples like The Simpsons, How I Met Your Mother, and The Big Bang Theory. There are also some classic cartoons like Gummy Bears which come on every day. I am trying to get Annika into some legit animation so she has something besides the computer generated Micky Maus Wunderhaus and the like. There is a German version of The Bachelor, to which I am very much looking forward.  Also, Germans love Scrubs...and Highway to Heaven.

The news has its share of amusing qualities as well. Any kind of bad story, be it about the financial crises in Greece/Spain or a company going out of business, has a graphic with a cartoon vulture.

There are also lead stories about it being almost too late to plant your garden this year and Robert De Niro getting an honorary doctorate from Bates College. A doctoral degree here is a very big deal. I wonder if they know the one De Niro got is devoid of any real value.

In not-hilarious but super-awesome television programming news is sports. At any time of day one can watch some kind of sport that gets minimal coverage in the US. Last week, for example, there was judo, swimming, soccer (obvs), cycling, and tennis. As much as I don’t care about the NBA or baseball until after the All Star break, this is refreshing.

Also, there’s this:

Euro 2012 Autoball Championship

In case you're wondering, Italy beat Germany in the final game. Hopefully this is a precursor to success for Gli Azzurri in the other Euro 2012.

One may be questioning why, when I’m living in a new awesome city, is there so much television watching going on? Well, judgy-pants (admit it, you judged a little), the only way we can get deliveries is if we’re home since we live in an apartment, and everything we have been ordering is semi-essential, so I can’t venture out too much if I know there is a delivery coming that day. Neil is taking a prep class for the language test he has to pass before he can apply to the FU (Freie Universität Berlin) every morning , so that means I await things like patio furniture, darkening drapes for Annika’s room, and our new cell phones. People have said that they’ve learned English by watching television, so I’m trying to soak up as much as I can until I get into a formal language class after Neil takes his test in 2 weeks. 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s an early-round French Open match I need to get back to.

We Were Those People

Have you ever talked to someone in late January/early February about their Super Bowl plans only to get a reply such as, “I don’t really watch sports,” or “I don’t have a television,” or “I really only have my television for watching the news”? I have, and I generally want to punch those people because they are either lying (Really? A television ONLY for watching news?) or completely oblivious to (like or or not) a major American cultural experience. Unfortunately, we were those people our first weekend in Berlin. That Saturday was the Bundesliga championship between Dortmund and Bayern-München a week ahead of Bayern playing Chelsea in the UEFA Champions League final. I realize that for many of you, that sentence may as well have been in German, but I’m talking about soccer here.

A few weeks earlier, I had signed up for the Berliner Frauenlauf, a 10K run for women in the heart of Berlin, thinking it would be a nice way to get out and see some of the city and get the legs shaken out after the long flight here days earlier. I did not realize that it was on the same day as the big game, and as we rode the bus to the race, there were thousands of people in the streets in kits supporting their team, walking around drinking and getting amped up for the game. It occurred to Neil that it was probably well-planned that the men could go get rowdy and watch the game while the women went for a nice run on a Saturday evening. Nevertheless, I felt like that person who wasn’t going to watch the Super Bowl. In our defense, at that point, we didn’t have a television, so in order to watch the game we would have had to lug Annika to a bar past her bedtime thus making watching or enjoying any of the game impossible. On the up side, the run was nice, and I was the second-fastest American to finish!

Me and a lot of German women runners (Lauferinen).

The game turned out to be a bit of a one-sided affair, with Dortmund winning the crown. Fortunately, our tele was delivered in time to catch the UEFA Championship the following weekend which was a nail-biter, coming down to a penalty-kick shootout. Unfortunately, Bayern lost to Chelsea after missing a PK at the end of the game as well as a couple in the shootout. (Sidebar:  When did elite players start missing so many clutch PKs? I swear this never used to happen, and now it seems like every major game or tournament there are numerous missed shots. I’m not talking keeper-saved shots, I’m talking flat-out misses. It’s ridiculous.)

It is nice to be in a land where soccer is loved and watched and appreciated. With Euro 2012 set to start up here in a few weeks and the Olympics kicking off a month or so after that, it’s going to be a good summer for me. Now that we are starting to get things semi-situated here (as much as we can without having any real belongings), we are starting to plan some travel. On the agenda for me as soon as the internet installation guy leaves next Monday is looking into a trip to neighboring Poland for a Euro 2012 game. It’s kind of a big deal, and we live so close that it would be a shame to miss out. The travel portion of Olmsted is supposed to be geared towards developing a greater general/cultural/political understanding and appreciation of your region. Soccer is a big part of the culture here, and if I can wrap a few other places/events into the itinerary, we should be good to go.

Viva la beautiful game!

See? No German in the Title.

There was a lot of talk leading up to this move about what a great adventure it was going to be. “Oh, it’ll be such a neat adventure!” “Well, if nothing else, it will be an adventure.” I wasn’t totally sure how to take those comments. It seemed almost like a cross between a condolence and preemptive hedging of expectations about the difficulties of moving overseas. In all of the planning for the move, I was prepared for the challenges of living in a place where I don’t really speak the language and some of the cultural differences that may provide some funny anecdotes. I was not prepared for the fact that our biggest challenge thus far is rooted in the incompetence/lack of accountability of Americans back in California!  Sorry, had to get that out. We are blessed to live in a gorgeous apartment which (much to my chagrin) still looks almost exactly as it is pictured here:

This room now has a TV, patio furniture, and a lot of toys.

I am all for roughing it, and I could live in a tent for months as long as there was a tiny shack with running water nearby. However, as it turns out, babies like toys, real furniture, and a room that gets dark before 1030pm and stays dark after 430am. The light situation is fantastic for running…not so much for baby sleeping.

 I should start by saying that I was well prepared to have no furniture for a period of months as that shipment wasn’t guaranteed to be here before July 8^th. “Guarantee” is a funny word.  There is another shipment called “Unaccompanied Baggage” which, when packed on April 18, was supposed to be (read: guaranteed to be) here in about a month. It contains things that one might need sooner than later (i.e.: pots/pans, plates, silverware, towels, some foodstuffs, a stroller, a Bumbo chair to serve as a high chair (see picture below for what we are actually using), and some clothes). That shipment is still sitting in Salinas, CA as of the evening of May 28, 2012. As it turns out, there was a miscommunication about the total weight of the shipment between the packing company and the shipping contractor…all English-speaking, FYI. We may never see that one which is a bummer since it has a lot of peanut butter. The aforementioned big furniture shipment is already on a boat here, which is nice.

High chair/collapsible plastic box.

Core work after breakfast.

The other big challenge thus far has been money. You know how in America, one can walk into a bank and set up an account or walk through a mall/airport/spring break bar and get a credit card almost instantly? Apparently, in Germany, they don’t want you to spend money. First one has to register as a resident and get a piece of paper saying that you, in fact, live in Germany. To do this, you need an appointment which, fortunately, Neil knew about and scheduled 3 weeks ahead of time or we would still be withdrawing cash at a crappy exchange rate from our American bank. Once one gets that piece of paper, one can go to the bank and get an account. Once one has that account, one waits a few days for a PIN and then another day or two for an ATM card. Then comes another PIN to set up your online account, and then one can set up payments to people like a landlord, the place where one bought a couch (Yipee!), and amazon.com/.de. Unfortunately, sometimes amazon.com/.de thinks it’s fishy when one orders things from amazon.com and amazon.de on the same day and cancels one of those orders and the re-orders one of those orders, and amazon.de cancels the order without letting one know and puts a hold on one’s account because they think it might be fraud. Crazy amazon.com/.de. We didn't want that patio furniture/toaster/television anyway.

The good news is that the bank craziness seems to be behind us (knock on wood), and we are now free to buy Euros and transfer them into our account and just get screwed on the exchange rate in one lump transaction . Eventually, we will have real furniture and peanut butter and a well-apportioned guest room which will be available for visitors any time we are here! In the meantime, we will continue to enjoy our newly-purchased patio furniture and any free internet we can find.

Luxurious patio furniture.

Drinks at a restaurant near a T-mobile hot spot.

Liebe Leser und Leserinen!

I promise, that will be almost the last German you will have to read…it says, “Greetings readers (male) and readers (female)!”

As I type this we are 2 days away from having lived in Berlin for 3 weeks. It is difficult to believe that we have been here for almost a month already. What’s more difficult to believe is that we still don’t have internet! I should clarify that we have a nice neighbor who is letting us borrow his wireless signal. Unfortunately, the lovely neighbor’s router needs to be reset, and he has been away for almost a week, and thus we are relegated to restaurants with free Wi-Fi and hotspots for most of our interweb dealings. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I’m sure, but I am unclear as to how anyone did anything before Al Gore invented the internet. Nevertheless, I figure that I had better start recording some of the goings on here because if I wait until we have an internet connection to get blogging, most of this first month will be a distant memory. I will try to keep it as short and sweet as possible because:
1. No one has time to read a short novel about our day-to-day shenanigans.
2. I don’t have time to write a short novel about our day-to-day shenanigans.

A good portion of this will be to keep family and friends abreast of how/what we’re doing. In addition, my documenting of the highlights will be helpful when it comes time for Neil to write his year-end reports for the Olmsted program. I am aware that many people have moved to a foreign country to live/work/study, and there are thousands of “We’re American and We Live Not-in-America Right Now” blogs out there, so why should you read this one? I’ve never been good at self-promotion, but I believe photos like these will help set mine apart:

Lederhosen.

Annika's reaction to the new apartment.

Having said that, here are a few early observations about Germany so far:

• Nutella is their peanut butter. It is delicious but lacks any discernible nutritional value.
• I’ve seen a fair number of adults drinking Capri Suns.
• There is a lot of in-line skating…like instead of a 5K run/walk, there is a 5K skate.
•  Sunday is really a day of rest. The only places open are restaurants.
• Matte black paint jobs on cars are all the rage. Some of these cars are more awesome than others.

Awesome

Not as awesome but more awesome with this paint job.

Apologies for the multiple posts all at once. I’ve never been very good at keeping up with these things, so it they will most definitely become more spread out moving forward.

Tschüß! (See ya!)